


Choke for a Little While

by charcolor



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Angst, Gen, Self-Hatred, no there's no actual death or anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 06:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19145545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcolor/pseuds/charcolor
Summary: Neru chokes Miku, just for a little while.





	Choke for a Little While

Akita Neru didn't know how or why she ever came to be. Maybe it was to be compared, to be consistently inferior to Miku in every way.

Miku was prettier, kinder, tidier, stronger, sweeter, cuter, more popular, more innocent, more talented, more loveable. She was childlike, and it was charming, another facet of her perfection. Neru was childish, and it was insufferable, nothing but whining and pettiness.

Miku was perfect. Well, she wasn't. She made mistakes. But she always worked to improve herself and earned forgiveness every time, and so, Miku was perfect.

Neru tried. She tried to be better. She stopped complaining, stopped shedding light on any of her problems at all, because any problem for Akita Neru was not worth anyone else's time or attention. She tried being more honest with herself, too. She'd never be anywhere near as good as Miku. She had to accept that.

But Neru was still inherently a bad person. Her thoughts were all poisoned with petty bitterness. She couldn't hurt herself. That was selfish. That was manipulative, begging for pity from anyone who saw her wounds. She did the next best thing.

She pinned Miku against the grass and tightened her hands around her smooth neck.

Miku didn't squirm or scream or squeal or cry. She was more mature than that. She wasn't in any danger. Even if Neru really wanted to, she couldn't hurt Miku. She was small and weak and pathetic, and of course, saying quietly, "Just for a little while," being petty and selfish and horrible.

And what would she do if someone saw her here, choking Miku, even if just for a little while? They'd defend and protect Miku, as they were supposed to. They'd shout at and scold and berate Neru, as they were supposed to. But what then? Would they ask for an explanation? Probably. They would be reasonable. Anyone smart enough to love Miku and hate Neru would be reasonable. There was nothing Neru could say that wasn't riddled with self-pity and sob stories.

"Because I'm evil," she muttered, but that was still too manipulative. "Because I want to," but that was a lie. "I don't think I have a reason. I can't be reasonable, because I'm not like you, Miku."

Miku said nothing, only gazed up at her with wide pools in her eyes, reflecting the clear blue sky far above them, deep with more complex thought than Neru could ever comprehend. She reached a hand to her neck to gently place against Neru's, clean, soft, smooth skin against sweaty, filthy claws.

"I think I should be dead. But then everyone would feel bad for me if I killed myself. I'd rather have an angel murder me, so she's only praised and I'm only cursed." Neru tightened her hold ever so slightly. "Like this, maybe."

Miku sweetly whispered Neru's name, patiently, gently. Were her eyes shimmering with tears as a growing plea, or as a glimpse of compassion? Of course, Miku would pity her. Another mistake she would learn from in time.

"I know you wouldn't," Neru sighed. "You're brave, but you're too kind. I think being too kind makes you a coward. You wouldn't kill me, or hurt me at all, because you think I might be a good person. Maybe you'll know better someday. You always do."

Miku shook her head slowly. "You're not a bad person."

"I don't want your damn pity." Neru's hands were quaking, still laced around the neck. "I'll never be a good person. You need to learn that. Everyone else already has. You always learn the truth eventually, don't you?"

She released Miku. She didn't know what signaled the end of it. She got on her feet and watched as Miku cautiously followed.

"I'm nothing but self-pity and immaturity," Neru reminded her firmly. "Think about everything I've ever said, everything I've ever done. You'll understand. You're smart. You're logical."

And she left, without waiting for Miku's response.

How selfish.


End file.
